Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
