theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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