M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize