Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize