C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
