I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
