i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
