Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
