I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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