Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
