Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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