i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
