He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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