Can i not drive my cunt home
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
