So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
