He kissed a someone with a penis
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
