She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize