PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
