He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
