I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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