Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
