There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if only i could text you this smell
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
