whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
