I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
