I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
