make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
