Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
