Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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