He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Alive.
So much puke
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
