what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
