She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
