i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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