So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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