Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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