who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
