I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
