She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
