She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
