Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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