Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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