girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
