Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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