I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
