About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm passing your future prison.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
