I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
