The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions