I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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