Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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