So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
