From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
