I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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