I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
