Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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