Betty ford says i'm here all night
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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