i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
