people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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