just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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