what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
there is glitter all over my balls
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