Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think my moral compass just broke
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