He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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