I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
